My Family

How to Loose Yourself in Motherhood, Without Loosing Yourself

Have another kid. I know this sounds crazy and maybe counter productive. But life with Stella was good, however life since we added Faxen is great. It is amazing how you grow to love another human being when you already thought your heart was so full.
Develop a passion. It might be piano, reading, crafting. For me it is obviously photography. More specifically film photography. In 2011 I went to The FIND (Film is Not Dead) Workshop and it was the best decision ever. It was a good kick in the pants to do what I love. It brought me many opportunities to learn, meet new people and develop my passion.
Know that motherhood is your divine role. The role of men and women is very fluid in this day and age. But being a member of the LDS Church has taught me that the role of Mothers and Fathers is clearly divine and separate. I might feel inadequate or miss what life used to be like before kids but all I need is to remind myself of these eternal truths and it brings a renewed hope to daily life.
Have something to look forward to. It might be a trip, a project or just even taking a shower by yourself but keeping your eye on the prize might help with the daily tasks.
Be positive. The brain is a muscle and it can be trained to think positively and be up lifting. Be kind, love yourself and allow yourself some grace. Be kind to others and give them the benefit of the doubt. Be happy, it will open up a window to your heart and positive vibes from the universe will flow in.
Stop caring what others think, sort of. I remember a distinct moment in high school years where I thought to myself “I don’t care what anyone else thinks.” However, no one truly lives that way. We are human and we want others to accept us. So rather I changed my thought process. I chose to move what people thought of me to the bottom of my priority list. And boy, life has been so much happier since.
Try to turn off “I need to…” mode. I really like lists, like a lot.We will be going about our day and I will have a five minute break and instantly my head will go “I need to do….” Maybe a better use of those five minutes would be spent being in the moment. Instead of instantly cleaning the table, starting a load of laundry I could just sit and talk with Stella. Basically be in the moment, rather than rushing to check off that to do list.
Switch off playdates. I have a hard time playing princess, doctor and dress up all day. So why not call up a neighbor and rotate play dates. Kids will have someone else to look at (read boss around). And lets be honest, I’m a lot nicer of a mom when other kids are around.
Take care of you first. For my sister that means getting in a solid work out, For me that means getting in a bit of screen time to check off my to do list and get some work done. Others that means getting getting ready for the day. You gotta do what you gotta do.
Check on your kids before you go to bed. Sleeping kids are the cutest and after some long days it might be nice to have a little reminder of how much you love them.
You are not just a mom. When I introduce myself I typically say something like “I’m a mom.” Being a mom might be my job and what I do day in and day out, but I’m more than just a mom.